I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING HAPPENING TO YOUR LAPTOP!
1) Putting it in a microwave
2) nuke the inner parts like processor ram
3) stick paperclips in, they can short out circuits and block fans. Do it long enough and it will burn out.
4) stick every single virus in your laptop that you can find

5) Push the screen (not too much or you will crack it) so the image will become blurred on your screen... OR use a magnet!
6) Open up the laptop, take a big magnet and move it across the whole laptop, leave it on the chips or a minute or two... (Unkown Damage)