So this wasn't posted and I had enough of how to make the cleanest and most beautiful website.. Lol.

So let me teach you how to make a website so that people that visit will never forget!

So lets get started :

1) Colours

Use a vivid and light background with a non-noticeable text colour. Nothing more than a vivid and light background with a non-noticeable text colour wakes your visitors up and makes them look more into your site to read! People should strain to read your hard hand written text.

2) Javascript Crazy!

Some people use javascript for nice effect ut this kind of java effects are are difficult. Why suffer on difficult Javascript when you can do simple but nice effects to links and you can also do alerts which is really easy.

3) Go Ad Crazy! After all they are your best friend

So you worked hard on your website? Why just sit there and lose time and money? Make profit by putting ads. Google ads are OK (and you get nice profit), but people like more than text. They want images and flash. But even better than images is sound. Ads that talk to your visitors while they are surfing the web get their attention and distract them from what they are doing making your visitors more likely to click on them. Also put ads that make them click on it like Yu have won a Car. Whats better then getting your visitor's hopes up

4) Make it IE ONLY!

Format you website only for IE users and make people use IE Put javascript to not let them use any other browser then IE. If you do this you don't have to bother with non-compatibility issues later.

5) Lots of Popups.

Pop ups will make your visitors remember your site while they close tons of Pop ups They'll never come back unless they remember your site!

6) Use java

Java is great. It makes great Natigation Bars but not only that. It make your websites to java users only and it take a while to load. It makes you users look at your site more while the navigation bar loads

7) Why do you need Top level domains?

Why do you need them while you got .co.cc / .tk / .co.nr ready to give you a hand for FREE!

Music!

Do you want your visitors to be bored while they are browsing your website? I will take that as a No. Then add Music to liven up your website and them.

9) Conventions and Standards

Why make your site boring and like all the other sites? Instead of following typical standards, like making your logo clickable to the home page, break the rules and do something different. Visitors will love the puzzle of trying to figure out how to use your site

10) Content

If you decide to actually have decent content (not recommended), be sure to take the most important stuff and bury it. The user should need to follow at least six different links, preferably with no logical connection, to find this info. Otherwise it's just not fun.

11) Graphics

ANIMATION! Don't use anything that's still...you want flashes, glitter, snaz...you want to catch people's attention. This can most effectively be done with animated gifs, and even video files. And if you're playing any media, be sure not to make it ugly with stop/pause buttons...your visitors just want it to play automatically, looping forever. And don't skimp on quality with your images...the bigger the file, the better.

12) Navigation

If everything is easy to find, your site will be boring. You don't want that. Don't settle for the navigation bar on the left...instead, put it in the bottom corner, hidden in a bunch of images, etc. And don't underline links...that makes them ridiculously ugly. It's better that they blend in with the text where no one knows they're there.

Basically make your website like they have never seen. Make it a QUEST to find something on it!
When your website annoys people so much, they will remember it vividly and tell their friends 'hey don't go to so-and-so website'. and people, being curious, will check out your website, and they too remember it for being so awful and tell their friends too, and that's how the awful website will attract a lot of traffic.

And Finally

Don't forget to advertise your site! What else then a spamming user on a forum makes a admin proud (don't take that as a advice I warn you! It makes admins angry also me ) Post your links on IRC and e-mail them! You can also do a chain e-mail that when you post 10 of these to other users a naked womaon comes out your computer screen and you do you know what .

P.S: Remember that the purpose of a website is not to make people's lives easy and present what they need to know, when they need to know it. It is to provide them with a unique experience, and this can only be achieved by making them work hard to use your site.


I hope this post gave you ideas on how to make a website unique and gave you a laugh while you made it. What other "How to make a Website" guide makes you laugh

Have a Nice day!

Making effective websites is highly dependent on what type of venue the site is and what the goals are for the site.

I'll put in my two cents which (unfortunately) is essentially in contradiction to what was posted. I've worked with Amazon, Atari, I helped create the former "Onsale.com Exchange". Onsale was the undispute king of B2B commerce up until around 2002 when it was sold. The Onsale exchange was sold to Yahoo.com and became Yahoo Auctions, Yahoo stores etc.

A website venue's success first depends on its goals. Wikipedia for example has not flashy this/that, colors, pop ups on and on... yet, its one of the highest traffic sites on the Internet. Google has a "Search Box" and rather "plain" output in searches, again... among the highest trafficed sites on the Internet. Amazon is "Fancy" where it needs to be, for example, new introduction of some fantabulous new technology they wish promote. eBay, snazy? Hardly.

Rule #1 is content reigns king.

Do you shop at a store with 10 items or one with thousands? Do you vist Warez sites where the Games, Apps, Scriptz area have 10 items? Or thousands?

Visual appeal and asthetics are always nice... BUT! sometimes too much is just too much. There is a fine line between ENHANCING THE USERS EXPERIENCE at a website and CONFUSING THEM WITH BELLS AND WHISTLES.

Assume that 90% of users visiting your site dont understand a damned thing about the technology. That means if you have slider menus and various "javascript interactive abilities" you MUST POINT THEM OUT TO THE USERS do NOT assume they KNOW that a "Down Arrow" will mean a slider will open for example. DONT ASSUME they know to "click this image" to go someplace.

Colors: If you do a bit of research you'll find for the majority of human beings different colors bring on different responses. Pastels, Blues, "Soft Colors" invoke good thoughts. Red's, Yellows or what are considerd "hot" colors can bring on caution, draw attention etc. For MOST websites "Soft is good" with areas that have "Hot" colors you want the users eyes to draw attention to, like "CLICK HERE TO ENTER OUR GIVEAWAY".

White's and blacks tend be neutral. Pictured backgrounds can accent good/hot feelings. If they are too "forward" they detract the users focus which should be on CONTENT.

COLORS MATTER.... Take your favorite looking template and change the colors to like, Yellow, Pink and Green. All of a sudden, doesnt look so nice. But change it to Blue, Orange and White... nifty. Certain colors meld well with others. RESEARCH IT.

Pop-Ups? Avoid them.

Browsers, support every single one you possibly can, its EASY to do if one reads. Even with Javascript. Most people who put javascript in their sites or Flash or Silverlight could not write a line of programming code if their lives depended on it. They cut/paste, essentially "insert" something be that in a dreamweaver based static site or a Drupal, Wordpress, Joomla whatall site.

I test all sites we make on Every major browser (MSIE, Firefox, Chrome, Operam Safari, AOL) and usually back at least 1 major version. Success means no user is turned away because my site doesnt like their browser.

Advertising.... ah yes.

Here's what most people do... Slap up things like Adwords all over, various "Pay per click" stuff... They make say $100, $200 a month and go, "Cool! Money!". Where-as I prefer to have a site that I can call say Schwinn Bicycles advertising dept. and get $500 a month. Then since I have a brand name thats recognized now I might call others and say, "See... Schwinn advertises". Real money in advertising comes from work to get real advertisers which means you need a site that advertisers want. Anything other than that is like being a pauper. Waiting for opportunity to come to you .vs. going and doing the work to make opportunity happen.

If I have a site thats filling with whatever, Flash tutorials the avg. schmuck will use adwords and similar things to try and make money. Me? I go to the horses mouth. I call Adobe or other publishers such as "Swish" and say, "My site has 500+ tutorials on Flash", I have 15,000 registered users, forums, blogs etc. I'd like to advertise your products free of charge. Ok, got Swish. Now I can go to a smaller studio, get them to pay me $100 a month to advertise their menu application, photo gallery apps etc. In fact, "Please send me a sample, we'll review it online". Eventually, if Adobe snubbed me, I'll come back and they wont.

I'll put up an Amazon Affiliate store to peddle Books on Flash, peddle applications from Amazon where I can get a commission, perhaps even some eBay auctions.

I'll see if any magazines exist that I might be able to promote at my Flash Education site. I dont care if they pay me or not because having "THEIR NAME" on MY SITE means to END USERS that MY SITE is TOP NOTCH, REAL MCCOY unlike 95% of the others out there along the same lines. Perhaps I can convince them to give away 1, 2 or 3 free year subscriptions to users whom each month must "Enter the contest"... Whats the contest? Dont care... Best Flash Animimation w/ source code and article.

As users come in and respond to blogs, forums, leave comments... I am going to be watching and those that are of good skill set and calibur, I want approach. "Want to write for us?".

Advertising again... I want my Flash education site structure to maximize its possible potential... So... I am going to have an area based in Flash Intros, another in Flash Tool Applications, another in galleries, this/that, video galleries... Reason being, each of these areas gives me real-estate to sell to TARGETED advertisers. So my Flash Photo Gallery area allows my prospect advertisers to target users looking for exactly that application.

I want a reciprocal link capability, so sites can link me, I link them so I am going to use a real link exchange application.

I'm going to have several different types of mailing lists. A general "Flash news" one, "Site News" one and others as needed. These will have mass mailings go out every two weeks, then as things build, every week. It again allows me a further reach that I can solicit advertisers with.

So a new Flash related book comes out, I might ask the author for a copy for review. If I wont do it, maybe I have volunteers that will. Write a review. In my next emailing, "Reviewed! The New Book Flash r Us - Read All About It!".

It often cracks me up... People with 50 sites using addwords, trying each day maintain things... Yet, I know people bringing in tens of thousands of dollars a month, loving what they do, getting craploads of free stuff to review and having a constant revenue stream that they can grow at will.

Thinking is the key to success, not "I'll just do this".

Oh.... Ummm... I kinda try treat websites like Chili, meatloaf, steak etc. That is to say good Chili is an art form. The right ingredients, right amounts at the right time.

Throwing a website together with blogs, forums, chat rooms, social networking, this/that all at once and deploying it... 99% of the time will fail. Because... People come in, see NOTHING.. LOTS OF NOTHING. We cant expect site visitors to stay on site for 4 hours to use everything daily and thus make it appear as though the site is highly active. Uh uh. Empty means people wont be coming back.

So... like Chili... I might begin with a nice blog. Get some folks involved. From there, perhaps a forum or other "Sensible" feature. A good game, something...

Again... not unlike anything else in life... If you own a stote with 10,000 products and ten people come in a day you fail. If you have a store with 100 products and in time 100 people are coming in daily then I need expand to 250 products.

No wine before its time.

Funny post.

Do everything opposite the op said!

Excellent! You didn’t reinvent the steering wheel with these tips but you brought the rubber back down on the asphalt road for me!